Fatties vs. Digital Barbarian, Round 15

Reference Point

Let us be perfectly frank with each other, fatties: you despise me and I could care less about you. But, Sven, you exclaim, all you do is insult and berate us, how can you say you care not for our corpulent vessels of filth? Fatties, unto you I do decree a simple warning which is to leave me the fuck alone. I don't give a fuck about women's basketball, it's an irrelevant non-sport. Do I hate it? Nay, for that would require some emotion be shown, and I have zero interest, thus I never consider women's basketball. Sometimes women's basketball is on instead of the NFL or NBA or pretty much anything, so I curse a bit at my fate. There is no emotion other than "This fucking crap is keeping me from being entertained". Thus, my indifference is challenged and I am actively opposed which results in a bit of venom. Do you understand this analogy?

Fatties, however, are consumed with me, and people like me, who advocate fitness and personal responsibility for one's appearance. They maintain that 1) they are not fat and 2) being fat isn't unhealthy. Everyone knows obesity is a fucking health risk; everyone. Let me reiterate that point: EVERYONE KNOWS OBESITY IS A HEALTH RISK. Fatties are lying to themselves with point #1 as they realize this fact. Further, they are contradicting their own admission of non-fatness by stating #2 because they know they are fat and thus try to justify it. Well, fatties, you gotta pick one and only one, this is not a Chinese restaurant and there's only a fucking column A with two choices: attractive and healthy or fat and unhealthy. This line of reasoning by the fatties harkens back to a Golden Age of stupidity that arose with the Women's Movement, as I touched on in my previous post. Feminism states that women are fat and that's healthy because they want it to be healthy or else they couldn't possibly justify being fat in the first place but they don't even need to justify being fat as fuck anyway because they can do whatever they want and still look sexy because they're women and men, the harbingers of disease, war and pestilence, cannot possibly bring them down. Fatties, you forgot someone: Death.

See, fatties, Death doesn't give a fuck about your ideas, your contradictory statements, your attitude toward a woman's appearance or any of that horseshit. Nope. Death only wants one thing: your fat fucking corpse in a goddamn hole. That's it. Obesity just speeds up the natural process of entropy and decay, bringing you ever more closely to Death with each step, and a much more alarming rate than someone who isn't fat. Is this fundamental fact of reality really that hard to grasp? For some of you, perhaps literal retards and Rainman-types, yes, it is impossible for you to comprehend. Those people are literally too stupid to understand it, and I let them off the hook. If a Downs Syndrome kid is fat, well, I'm not going to say shit because he has too many problems to begin with, much less trying to comprehend why being fat as fuck is bad. His parents, however, yeah, fuck them for letting the kid be fat and unhealthy. I digress. Anyway, to the rest of the fat fucks out there, of course you understand that obesity is bad. We've already establish that it's a fact, so either you're denying it or literally don't give a fuck. I'll examine both camps.

Don't Give a Fuck
John Candy didn't give a fuck that he was fat; I talked about this a while back. Actually, he started to give a fuck before he died because he knew he probably should, but he died anyway and that sucks because he kicked total ass. A lot of fat dudes really don't care. They know it's bad and seriously just don't give one fuck about it. I have known fat guys who, even if given the opportunity to look like Brad Pitt, would turn it down simply because they did not care. It's a little hard for me to understand that, but to them I say kudos. It has got to be awesome not to give a shit about how you look or how long you live or whatever, because honestly, doing that shit too much makes your dick turn into a vagina and that sucks. I've yet to meet a woman who literally did not care about what she looked like, much less her weight. Any woman who says she doesn't give a fuck about her weight is a liar or has an extra chromosome somewhere (cf. earlier about retards).

Denial
Enter all the fat women and feminists. Well, they're the same damn thing so we can just call them fattyists and be done with it. Fattyists hold on to one bullshit "truth" that is passed down from generation to generation: being fat is a gift. Yes, that's fucking right, a gift from God Almighty. First, this idea needs to be extirpated from face of the Earth, but unfortunately for us normal jackasses, it is perpetuated by icons of fattyism such as Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah. By thinking that being fat is not only good, but actually great, fattyists can deny their health problems all they want without fear of the consequences. If God wanted them to be fat, who are they to argue. They further justify this belief with a few other bullshit reasons, all of which are retarded as fuck, but the primary being it's hard not to be fat. Look, it's only hard not to be fat because you have no self control, you stupid fat fucks. If you think "lifestyle changes" mean not eating doughnuts and enchiladas for a couple months, try taking an acid bath in Nazi Germany. Lifestyle changes are monufuckingmental, they are not trivial things like passing up a breakfast burrito. Yes, trivial. It is trivial as you have 100% control whether you eat the burrito or do not. Stop denying you're fat and then contradicting your own statements by saying being thin is hard. You're full of shit on both counts.

As an aside: genetic predisposition is the biggest bullshit excuse ever. How about I claim I'm genetically predisposed to rape? Would that fly? No, because I can still fucking choose to rape a bitch or not. Same with alcoholism, drug abuse, and anything else. Being fat is not exempt from the laundry list of bad shit people do and try to weasel out of taking responsibility for. Obesity is a very real physical problem and treating it like some fucking social issue not only cheapens the accomplishment of individuals who seek physical fitness but makes it impossible to rectify. If you don't want to be called a fat fucking slob, shut your mouth. It'll keep the food out and make you a nicer person because we won't have to hear the fattyist rhetoric.