...and, we're back! Fuck yeah we're back, and in fact, we never f'n left. Still the same old G, living it up in corporate America. What I want to briefly touch upon today is music, and its sorry state. First, and I just want to get this off my chest, let me list a few bands. The Killers, The Shins, The Mountain Goats, The Fray, Metro Station, Deathcrabs for Cutie, Bright Eyes, Arcade Fire, and The Decemberists. You probably know of a few of them, hell, you may even know them all. What's more, you might like these bands, and you may be an avid concert goer. Musical taste is entirely subjective, so I'll merely hate the game, not the player. Although these bands are very different from each other they all have one thing in common, and that one thing is cleverly and purposefully obscured.
What each band listed, as well their illegitimate brethren in their respective genres, represents is a part of a eulogy. These horrid excuses for modern music are arrogantly performing a facetious dirge that coincides with the death of an important decade. American Idol aside (since that is purely money grabbing and image making, without notions of musical credibility, and doesn't exactly fall within the sights of this post), the 2000s have been chock full of bullshit. What passes for listenable on the radio is literally putrid, and actually unlistenable. Why am I so pissed about this? My observation is both idyllic and sad. The 1990s were a time of musical solidification, a mixing of genres, and mainstream appeal of what was feared in the 80s. Rap and Hip Hop music, while selling millions of records in the 80s, still didn't have a strong foothold in American culture. With the dawning of the century's final decade, we saw not only unconditional acceptance of the urban music scene, but also intermingling with what were once thought to be incompatible styles. Pop music stayed constant, churning out catchy yet ultimately vacuous tunes; Michael Jackson raped a few kids. Heavy metal changed from stadium rock to introspection and darker avenues. Grunge erupted for a hot minute, but was not long for this world. All these new styles were coming into their own, each singing farewell to the 80s music scene, each celebrating their evolutions.
To sum it up, the 90s were great, a perfect bookend to a wildly varying century of music. This is not a knock on 80s music, there was plenty of good stuff being produced, but there's only so much New Wave Dance Synth Pop Crap one can take before enough is enough. So after 10 years of kickass music, what happened? Well, the 2000s came and instantly dropped a deuce on the chest of 1999. Fucking instantly. Suddenly pretentious horseshit is the coolest thing, and you must be an idiot if you don't get it. Indie music is a sham, and the worst part isn't actually that people love it. The worst part is that it's in your face, and that it's actually designed to make those who "don't get it" feel strangely inadequate. I get it. I get everything it's about. The problem is, I know it sucks, I know the depths of stupidity that these "artists" reach, all the while trying to make their music oh so literate. Zach Braff has put us in a tough spot. While I won't make a personal judgment, because I don't know the guy, he embodies everything that makes me angry about American music today.
So, to sum it up, we've got The Killers on one end (80s synth dance shit), and The Killers on the other end (the killers themselves, in all their pretentious yet worthless glory), with Indie experiencing a secret birth sometime in the early 90s. We're getting fucked from both ends, with pseudo-intellectuals telling it's alright, it's just a d in the a and one in the mouth.
