Induction
Read this first. Look, I'm not going to hold up Wikipedia as the authority on any subject, but from what I know about logic the article gets the point across decently.
Essentially, the case is made that inductive reasoning cannot actually produce anything meaningful in the same sense that deductive reasoning can. Meaningful of course means factual, i.e. known to be true. 2+2=4 is true, but this is a necessary truth. Nearly all mathematics is based upon deductive reasoning, and thus the truth value can be determined absolutely if we know the truth value of the premises. Induction, in contrast, can only produce contingent truths, and even those really aren't known in the same way we can know math. Science, of course, uses induction to produce theories. I remember when I was a kid, we learned that science was full of theory but no Laws, as Law was necessary and not contingent. Nothing wrong with that, as empiricism by definition cannot be anything but inductive and science is based upon empiricism, etc. You get the point. Science cannot produce anything true in the absolute sense. Never. It's can still produce plenty of useful things, obviously. Newtonian mechanics, for instance, are inherently false. We know them to not be the way in which the universe operates, yet they are a good quick-n-dirty way to do calculations. The answer you get is close enough to send people to the Moon and make cars and whatever the fuck else you do in a normal life. But Newtonian mechanics aren't true.
Given that, why do people seem to think inductive reasoning, more specifically scientific reasoning, is infallible? By definition, science isn't necessarily true (in the logical sense), so therefore it is fallible because contingency means things can change for any reason. Even obvious things that we hold as true, like the Sun rising tomorrow, aren't necessarily true. Is it possible the Sun won't rise tomorrow? Yes. It is highly improbable, but not impossible. Is it possible 2+2 doesn't equal 4? I suppose if you're a fucking maniac, sure, or maybe your name is Winston and some dudes are forcing you to think it's 5, but that has nothing to do with the impossibility of 2+2 not equaling 4. None. Every single scientific theory has been proven to be wrong, given enough time to come up with new theories. Every single one. Yeah, we're getting closer to understanding things, but it seems like a new can of worms is opened all the time, and what we thought before is discovered to be absolute nonsense. For the longest time we thought the Andromedan Galaxy was bigger than the Milky Way. Well, then we discovered that the Milky Way is more massive due to Dark Matter. Dark Matter? What the fuck is that? Hell if I know, and neither do the physicists, but hey, it exists and we have no clue what it is.
There are a lot of things we know exist yet don't understand. In fact, pretty much everything we "know" falls into that category. People need to approach anything newly discovered with a healthy dose of skepticism and critical analysis before jumping on the bandwagon of stupidity.
Racism my ass
If you read feminist websites, like I do, they'd have you believe that everyone in the United States is a racist jackass. Feminists have a lot to gain by supporting that argument because their fundamental premise is the same: a group of people are being marginalized. In the case of racism, it's an ethnic minority. In the case of women, it's a gender-based minority. Although, I fail to see how women are in fact a minority when they outnumber men...but as I learned in graduate school, don't ever let facts get in the way of rhetoric.
Let me start with addressing this idea of racism first. Okay, the premise is that the US is racist. This conclusion is arrived at because some groups are "underrepresented" in certain areas, namely politics and jobs that require more education. Or something. I mean, that's what these people fucking say, even though the numbers aren't statistically significant enough to back them up. Take for instance the House of Representatives: out of 435 people, there are currently 42 black members, or approximately 9.7% of the total makeup. The CIA World Factbook states that the US population as a whole is around 12.9% black. That's definitely within the range of representation. If of course we differentiate people based on race, which is by definition racist. So, essentially, by breaking down Congress into race, there is an implicit argument that racial makeup constitutes enough of a difference that those individuals need someone of their same race to adequately represent them. THAT'S RACISM BY DEFINITION. Do these fucking people not understand that? If you are bitching about some perceived lack of representation that doesn't even exist in reality, based purely on race, you've done nothing more than say race itself is the most important factor in the equation.
Most politicians went to Ivy League schools. And when I say most I mean literally all. I'm using the term Ivy League not to specifically identify the conference itself, but the generic way it is used in modern society to signify a high-priced school that you're not getting into without some form of favoritism or legacy. Take for instance President Obama. He first attended Occidental College, which is pretty fucking prestigious, even if you've never heard of it. He then went to Columbia, Harvard Law and taught at U of Chicago. This is certainly what the Common Man does, isn't it? Surely nearly all black men attend a string of top ranked private universities, culminating in serving as faculty at one of the most well-respected schools in the world. Right? Yes, I'm being rhetorical, of course the fuck they don't. But Obama is anything but atypical. In fact, he typifies exactly how the modern politician begins his political career. And rightfully so: we want educated people in politics. Don't we? Does the fact that Obama is black have anything to do with his approach to politics? Again, of course the fuck it doesn't. Just like most white people aren't represented by their congressmen and senators because most of them don't even know where Harvard is, much less have aspirations to attend. To reiterate, the statement that race has anything to do with representation is so far removed from the concept of the nature of the political process it's laughable to use it as any sort of meaningful metric.
The perpetuation of race as a means to measure anything is in itself racist. Personally, I don't think racism as a concept is bad as it is possible that there are indeed fundamental differences between races that are scientifically valuable. However, whenever someone comes out with a study that says black people are dumber than white people (and it happens all the time), they simply label it as racist, which is just an easy way to say you think something is bullshit because you don't like being called stupid. Of course, if a study came out that said black people are smarter than whites, this would probably be lauded and heralded as a breakthrough of epic proportions, even though it's just as racist as the prior study. Why? Because racism is perpetuated by racists themselves. Science contradicts itself all the time, because induction is inherently flawed. I'll address that in another post (at length), but essentially, there is no way to know which scientific theory is correct unless you're omniscient, and if you were you wouldn't need fucking science in the first place. Hence, theories that support what you think are good and ones that disrupt your distorted view of reality are bad. Theories of racism are fundamentally no different than theories that say coffee is bad for you because the next day another study shows coffee actually is good for you. Again, is racism inherently bad? Only if differences don't exist between ethnic groups. Since all the people who say racism is rampant are the ones who make these claims of shit like underrepresentation, they are implicitly stating their racism; pointing out their lack of capability is bad but anything that points out their heightened capacity is good. That's not only contradictory and idiotic (namely because racism itself is not normative...either differences exist or they don't), but racist in and of itself. Hence, anti-racists are actually racist by definition.
In closing, the only racists are the ones who say people are racist. And inbred hillbillies who probably can't tie their shoelaces without assistance.
Site Redo
So, basically, I had to redo the site because the blogging software I was using ate itself. Fortunately (unfortunately?), I was able to save most of my old posts.
I'm not one to make promises lightly, but I can promise you, dear reader, that 2011 will bring a new age of vitriolic endeavors from the Digital Barbarian.
Fattyists: Total liars
First of all, I found this blog entry
http://xxla.blogspot.com/2009/06/why-are-boats-or-cars-or-nations.html
totally at random. Let me start by saying this: It's easier to just make up bullshit reasons that sound good in your pocket universe of stupidity rather than do any actual research whatsoever. Why are boats called "she"? Fuck if I know, but they are, and that's that. Trying to assign a feminist, i.e. oppression of women, reason to why boats are female reeks of agenda-based dumbassery. This idiot offers not one fact whatsoever for the basis of her post. Not one. She then goes on to say that nations are also referred to as "she". Tell that to the Germans, you fatty fuck. Anyway, it should be obvious this idiot has no clue what the fuck she's talking about. Reading her previous post, then, was a mistake on my part. I don't blame anyone but myself.
She makes a reference to "eating better" or some nonsense. This blog is about fat acceptance, by the way...why is she bothering to lose weight? Oh, yes, health reasons. She is explicit that she cares not for aesthetic reasons for her weight loss, simply pointing out her health has been troubled, a direct result of her fatness. Didn't I already talk about this? How the FUCK can you possibly advocate "fat acceptance" and then state, not a mere moment later, that being fat is causing you health issues? Does that make any goddamn sense whatsoever? She admits that being fat is bad, but IT'S ALSO GOOD, TOO. How? How can it possibly be both? Please see prior posts I made regarding this topic, as there is no need to rehash. Simply put, everything I said was true and this website gives more empirical evidence of that.
Perez Hilton vs. Miss California
Relevant link: http://www.feministing.com/archives/015000.html
Yep, you knew it was coming...I just had to make a comment about this shit. See, I personally don't give one fuck about Miss California's comments. She's in a beauty pageant, not the US Senate. Some fucktard asks a purposefully political question because that's the sort of crap he's known for: causing problems. Yes, Perez Hilton is simply a douchebag who enjoys saying shit to get a rise out of people. I understand why he gets off to it as I like doing the same thing, but Hilton's agenda is much more sinister than the old Digital Barbarian's. Plus, he sucks because he's entirely politically motivated based on money. He makes money by being inappropriate and not having any manners. That's the definition of an asshole. No matter how much I rant on here, I don't go to people in public and make a mockery of them out of pure greed. Anyway, enough of the digression. So Miss California says she doesn't support gay marriage. Sounds fine to me. She was asked a stupid question, gave an honest answer, and now is catching hell for it. See, I thought these girls were SUPPOSED to be honest and not adhere to some stupid politically correct agenda, but apparently they're actually supposed to be idiotic puppets who will win at any cost. I'm sure the girl knew that saying an "unpopular" answer (in quotes because the vast majority of the people in this country subscribe to the same view, including the voters in her home state) might result in her not winning, but so what? At least she had enough integrity not to spout off some bullshit in order to win a contest. Anyone saying shit about her needs to shut the fuck up. Give the girl props for being in front of millions of people and saying what she knew might cause a little bit of strife.
Okay, now before I tackled the link above, let me cover a few facts:
1) Marriage is, by definition, only possible between a man and a woman. Before you email me with some stupid bullshit, remember that marriage is essentially a contract between two people who are joining two families and will eventually pass on property, titles, names, etc. to their progeny. Gay dudes and dykes can't have kids together, which means marriage isn't relevant to them. Historically, religiously, traditionally, whatever, that's what marriage is. The erosion of morality in our society has opened the door for things like in vitro, sperm banks, adoption by gay couples and whatever. Just because those things exist in no way invalidates the definition of marriage. Being able to clone someone doesn't magically make eugenics morally permissible.
2) Miss California MUST disapprove of gay marriage by virtue of her faith. Anyone with the same belief system as her who advocates gay marriage is simply a hypocrite. Admonishing her because she follows traditional and religious views is about as bigoted as you can get. If her answer was anything else, she would have been lying and also not adhering to her religion. To be quite honest, she seems to be a respectable individual given the situation and how she acted.
Alright...now to the idiot feminists. All quotes pulled from the above link.
"Her answer was homophobic because she advocated denying gay people the right to get married."
Gay people can get married, they just have to marry someone of the opposite sex like everyone else. Heterosexual people cannot marry people of the same sex, either. Are their "rights" being denied? I have a lot of issues with the inherent illogic of this statement, but I think what pisses me off the most is the idea that a "right" is being denied. Who the fuck decided that marriage was a right? I don't understand that one. Marriage, again by definition, has nothing to do with love, romance, picking out china or going to fucking Walmart together. It's about creating a situation that allows a viable family to be produced. People who cannot produce viable families should be denied marriage. There's no "right" being violated. The fucking feminist morons in the US have decided that anything they want to do is their "right", regardless of consequence. Except, of course, if they don't like it. They support gay "marriage" as a right, but dudes who want to fuck 12 year old girls, well, they're just rapists, even if the girls want to fuck the dudes. Hey, aren't their rights being violated? Shut the fuck up about rights, fattyists. You don't have a clue what you're fucking talking about. Also, I like how this girl is somehow homophobic because she doesn't want marriage to be degraded and diluted to a meaningless phrase. Yeah, well, apparently you're not allowed to have a differing opinion from one of the fattyists because that makes you a homophobic racist bigot. Fattyists: look up bigot in the dictionary. That's you. Also, "open minded". That means doing what they like, it surely doesn't mean having an opinion but not bothering people about what they do if you don't approve. Do any of these idiots have the capacity for rational thought?
"I think the whole idea of beauty pageants is ridiculous"
Why? Oh yeah, I forgot...fattyist. Every single fucking fattyist on Earth hates hates hates beauty pageants because they "objectify women". That's what they say, but I know the real reason: they are fat, ugly and annoying. You have to be attractive with a nice personality to win a beauty pageant; no fattyist is any of these things. So, of course, pageants are a waste of time, money, etc. They should be outlawed, right? Fattyists would like nothing more than a ban on pageants, but wouldn't that make them hypocrites for stomping all over someone else's "right" to compete? No, see, fattyist logic dictates that whatever THEY want to do is good and whatever THEY hate is bad. It's a pretty good philosophy, one that famous, powerful dudes like Hitler and Stalin promoted.
In conclusion, fattyists have been logically proven to be fascist fucks with disgusting bodies, faces and minds.
Female Orgasms
This entry will be short because there's not much to discuss, but when did female orgasms become the responsibility of men? This isn't to say I advocate being totally selfish when you're banging some girl, but if she's expecting you to do all the work and "please her", she needs to chill the fuck out. Lets be perfectly honest here: men do most, if not all, of the work when having sex. Unless a girl is on top, the dude is going to be the one moving around. Just given that fact, a girl really can't complain if she's not getting anything out of it. Perhaps she needs to be a bit more participatory. Maybe she needs to say "Do this" or experiment and figure out what works for her, then put it into action. Dudes are notorious for masturbating, but this has the side effect of knowing exactly what works and how long it takes. Sometimes you just need to concentrate really hard, but considering most women can't maintain a coherent thought for longer than four seconds, maybe that's the problem. Women need to stop blaming men for poor sexual experiences and do what it takes to make sex fun for them. Here's a secret: if you're fat and/or ugly, most dudes will not give a fuck about "pleasing" you, and will do whatever it takes to be done as quickly as possible. All the married women out there complaining about crappy sex need to hit the treadmill and stop stuffing doughnuts down their gullets, dress like a pornstar and maybe masturbate for half an hour before their husbands get home. It's their responsibility.
Dr. Dumbass
I few posts ago, I bitched about feminism, specifically how "educated" feminists were still idiots but used their college degrees to shield moronic views from scrutiny. Case in point: The Adventures of Dr. Diana York Blaine. This idiot fancies herself as a "philosopher, writer, adventurer, bon vivant and buttkicker". Bon vivant? Whatever, maybe she drinks expensive wine or something, but philosopher? Writer? Adventurer? I suppose since she has a blog, that technically makes her a writer, and since she probably spent at least one second considering what she was going to write about that makes her a philosopher...what about adventurer? No clue what the fuck that's supposed to imply, but I seriously doubt she goes on big game hunts in Africa or navigated the Amazon river, searching for lost pygmy tribes. Anyway, take a look at the example questions she poses on her "About" page:
Should you shave under your arms?
Should you get married?
Should you get plastic surgery?
Should you buy an SUV?
Should you watch The Bachelor?
Should you join a sorority?
Should you go to church?
Should you wear make-up?
Should you keep your boyfriend?
Should you go on a diet?
Should you douche?
Riveting! I was reading The Republic just last week, and Glaucon posed the question of douching to Socrates right after asking about dieting. Surely these are questions long discussed in the annals of philosophical thought.
I was going to write a lot about how all the posts on her website were devoid of any reason or logic, but that should be apparent just from the fact that she has a PhD in English, teaches Feminist Theory and lives in California. Oddly enough, from the pictures I saw, she doesn't look that fat, but she made allusions to having a husband who I can only assume is the biggest pussy alive. Possible she might be XXY.
Fatties vs. Digital Barbarian, Round 15
Let us be perfectly frank with each other, fatties: you despise me and I could care less about you. But, Sven, you exclaim, all you do is insult and berate us, how can you say you care not for our corpulent vessels of filth? Fatties, unto you I do decree a simple warning which is to leave me the fuck alone. I don't give a fuck about women's basketball, it's an irrelevant non-sport. Do I hate it? Nay, for that would require some emotion be shown, and I have zero interest, thus I never consider women's basketball. Sometimes women's basketball is on instead of the NFL or NBA or pretty much anything, so I curse a bit at my fate. There is no emotion other than "This fucking crap is keeping me from being entertained". Thus, my indifference is challenged and I am actively opposed which results in a bit of venom. Do you understand this analogy?
Fatties, however, are consumed with me, and people like me, who advocate fitness and personal responsibility for one's appearance. They maintain that 1) they are not fat and 2) being fat isn't unhealthy. Everyone knows obesity is a fucking health risk; everyone. Let me reiterate that point: EVERYONE KNOWS OBESITY IS A HEALTH RISK. Fatties are lying to themselves with point #1 as they realize this fact. Further, they are contradicting their own admission of non-fatness by stating #2 because they know they are fat and thus try to justify it. Well, fatties, you gotta pick one and only one, this is not a Chinese restaurant and there's only a fucking column A with two choices: attractive and healthy or fat and unhealthy. This line of reasoning by the fatties harkens back to a Golden Age of stupidity that arose with the Women's Movement, as I touched on in my previous post. Feminism states that women are fat and that's healthy because they want it to be healthy or else they couldn't possibly justify being fat in the first place but they don't even need to justify being fat as fuck anyway because they can do whatever they want and still look sexy because they're women and men, the harbingers of disease, war and pestilence, cannot possibly bring them down. Fatties, you forgot someone: Death.
See, fatties, Death doesn't give a fuck about your ideas, your contradictory statements, your attitude toward a woman's appearance or any of that horseshit. Nope. Death only wants one thing: your fat fucking corpse in a goddamn hole. That's it. Obesity just speeds up the natural process of entropy and decay, bringing you ever more closely to Death with each step, and a much more alarming rate than someone who isn't fat. Is this fundamental fact of reality really that hard to grasp? For some of you, perhaps literal retards and Rainman-types, yes, it is impossible for you to comprehend. Those people are literally too stupid to understand it, and I let them off the hook. If a Downs Syndrome kid is fat, well, I'm not going to say shit because he has too many problems to begin with, much less trying to comprehend why being fat as fuck is bad. His parents, however, yeah, fuck them for letting the kid be fat and unhealthy. I digress. Anyway, to the rest of the fat fucks out there, of course you understand that obesity is bad. We've already establish that it's a fact, so either you're denying it or literally don't give a fuck. I'll examine both camps.
Don't Give a Fuck
John Candy didn't give a fuck that he was fat; I talked about this a while back. Actually, he started to give a fuck before he died because he knew he probably should, but he died anyway and that sucks because he kicked total ass. A lot of fat dudes really don't care. They know it's bad and seriously just don't give one fuck about it. I have known fat guys who, even if given the opportunity to look like Brad Pitt, would turn it down simply because they did not care. It's a little hard for me to understand that, but to them I say kudos. It has got to be awesome not to give a shit about how you look or how long you live or whatever, because honestly, doing that shit too much makes your dick turn into a vagina and that sucks. I've yet to meet a woman who literally did not care about what she looked like, much less her weight. Any woman who says she doesn't give a fuck about her weight is a liar or has an extra chromosome somewhere (cf. earlier about retards).
Denial
Enter all the fat women and feminists. Well, they're the same damn thing so we can just call them fattyists and be done with it. Fattyists hold on to one bullshit "truth" that is passed down from generation to generation: being fat is a gift. Yes, that's fucking right, a gift from God Almighty. First, this idea needs to be extirpated from face of the Earth, but unfortunately for us normal jackasses, it is perpetuated by icons of fattyism such as Rosie O'Donnell and Oprah. By thinking that being fat is not only good, but actually great, fattyists can deny their health problems all they want without fear of the consequences. If God wanted them to be fat, who are they to argue. They further justify this belief with a few other bullshit reasons, all of which are retarded as fuck, but the primary being it's hard not to be fat. Look, it's only hard not to be fat because you have no self control, you stupid fat fucks. If you think "lifestyle changes" mean not eating doughnuts and enchiladas for a couple months, try taking an acid bath in Nazi Germany. Lifestyle changes are monufuckingmental, they are not trivial things like passing up a breakfast burrito. Yes, trivial. It is trivial as you have 100% control whether you eat the burrito or do not. Stop denying you're fat and then contradicting your own statements by saying being thin is hard. You're full of shit on both counts.
As an aside: genetic predisposition is the biggest bullshit excuse ever. How about I claim I'm genetically predisposed to rape? Would that fly? No, because I can still fucking choose to rape a bitch or not. Same with alcoholism, drug abuse, and anything else. Being fat is not exempt from the laundry list of bad shit people do and try to weasel out of taking responsibility for. Obesity is a very real physical problem and treating it like some fucking social issue not only cheapens the accomplishment of individuals who seek physical fitness but makes it impossible to rectify. If you don't want to be called a fat fucking slob, shut your mouth. It'll keep the food out and make you a nicer person because we won't have to hear the fattyist rhetoric.
Feminists are idiots
Listen/watch to this if you can. I couldn't for more than a couple minutes. Now, read the post/comments. Does that make ANY sense to you whatsoever?
First of all, Phil Donahue is a fucking elitist idiot. He's also an idealistic dumbass who lives in a fantasyland where all the malevolent dictators of the world are actually Jesus-incarnate and everyone deserves handouts from the government for being stupid as fuck and not working. The fact that some daft woman wants to idolize Donahue is just icing on the shit-flavored cake.
This video angers me on a lot of levels, but the primary being the notion that somehow Donahue is "standing up for America" when in reality he's taking a shit all over the Constitution. This country was founded on one premise: liberty. How the hell is being baby-sat by the government promoting that cause? His diatribe about some passenger plane being shot down is pure bullshit. If you don't want to die, don't go into no-fly zones. It's pretty simple. This reminds me of the court marshals of US Marines for their alleged murder of unarmed Iraq combatants. Well, if you don't want to get killed, don't go into a warzone. Of course the Iraqi was armed, he just so happened to be dumb enough not to have his weapon on his person when shot. So he's an idiot on multiple levels, the primary being that he fucked with some Marines.
Ivory Tower fuckface assholes...I've dealt with a lot of them during my time in graduate school. They think that because they have a modicum of education this somehow makes them more able to deal with important decisions and that mere plebs who work in steel mills and watch football are too fucking stupid to manage their own money. Alright, some blue collar workers probably are dumb and can't save a dime, but who cares? It's their fucking money, and if they fail, they fail of their own accord. If they succeed, they succeed based on their own blood, sweat and tears. No one owes them shit, especially not the tax payers of America. Collegiate superstars with no real-world experience cannot possibly dictate a proper course of action because their heads are far too up the asses of moronic thinkers like Marx and Nietzsche. Anyone who finds one lick of truth in postmodern thought is not only illiterate, but deserving nothing but the most swift of deaths. Every single principle of socialism/communism/existentialism has been shown, IN PRACTICE, to be an idealistic pipe dream. Why do these idiots hold to their supposed "truths" like Linus to a fucking blanket? I'll tell you: because they are idiots. Yes, it's that simple. Overeducation with no experience to place that education in context has created a whole class of people who are functionally inept in every capacity. Somehow, these same individuals are the ones in the driver's seat, steering us into oblivion.
So what does all this have to do with feminism, you ask? Overeducation and feminism go hand-in-hand. Feminism is nothing more than the stupidification of our society. No matter how many studies are done that show women cannot perform at the same level as men in most professional capacities, feminism pushes for women in the workplace. No matter how much you demonstrate that men have a greater capacity for logical thinking than women, feminism says that "girls can do it better". What? Meaningless shit. But, again you ask, how do these things correspond to one another. Alright, basically, ever since women have been allowed to go to college, they've gotten big heads. They honestly think education somehow makes them smarter, when in reality, it simply makes them think their fucking retarded ideas have merit. It also applies to any idiot who goes to college and listens to some liberal jackass professor rant about how socialism is such a wonderful idea before driving home in his $100k Mercedes to his bigass house paid for on his overinflated salary. A lot of Hollywood actors have taken this a step further and assume that if they're popular, their opinion matters and in some fucked up way they're smarter than you. Wow, that's nice, I didn't know pretending to be a doctor was better than being an actual doctor.
Look, fuck feminism. They're simply morons who want to be equal but really want to be privileged people. You cannot claim men and women need to be treated equally then complain about all the bad crap that happens when you're not treated with privilege. Socialism, feminism, it's all the same bullshit, perpetuated by fucking hippies from the 60s and 70s. Ladies, get back in the fucking kitchen and put on your apron. There's nothing wrong with admitting you can't think logically well enough to make the hard decisions. If you think I'm simply being a dick, ponder this: why the fuck do women cry at work, over work-related crap? I'm not talking about working in the emergency room and seeing a 4 year old die from gunshot wounds, I'm talking about crying over an email where the boss says you did a crap job on a proposal. Well whoopdefuckingdo, drink a fucking beer and cuss a bit like every other guy on Earth does. No one cries over a fucking job except people unable to deal with the harsh reality that it sucks a cock. Fuck feminists and their moronic ideas that have no substance nor foundations in reality.
Fat acceptance?
I feel like a broken record. Every day, it seems, I bitch about fatties, yet their numbers are legion and ever increasing. Well, that's fine, whatever, I don't care. Fatties exist and they grow larger by number and girth. As long as I don't have to deal with them, we can co-exist. Perhaps not peacefully, but I'll stay out of their way at the buffet line and they can kindly not show up to my favorite bars and request free drinks.
Now, however, the fatties have broken the uneasy truce with the Digital Barbarian, and his axe will fall soundly and cleave a ham sandwich from fat fucking fingers. It was brought to my attention that an organization exists called the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) and they even have their very own website, filled with meaningless bullshit. What, Sven, are you kidding? Surely you are not serious. No, goddammit, I am 100% serious and thus the rage has increased beyond reproach. See, it's one thing to say that being fat sucks and you don't like being made fun of; I get it. I was a little portly as a kid and got called all sorts of names. It didn't help that I also wore glasses and was somewhat of a nerd. Eventually, though, I discovered that being intelligent was an asset, contacts were easy to wear and playing sports could eliminate the belly. So, yes, being bullied sucks, but guess what? It just made me a better person. All those fucks who made fun of me are probably washing cars somewhere with massive beer bellies, living in a trailer park. Fuck 'em, I did better BECAUSE of the abuse, I didn't crawl into a fucking hole and whine about how I was being pushed around. As an aside, I did get into fights with the neighborhood kids from time to time, and won quite a few, so even back then I was well versed in defending myself from assholes. Alright, my life story aside, why do these fat fucks need some sort of "acceptance" for their obvious problems? Being fat is a problem, it's not something that is physiologically viable. Is alcoholism viable? No, which is why AA exists. Obesity is a major problem in this country, and this NAAFA sort of bullshit simply wants to perpetuate the problem as if it is social, not physical.
Fat people are discriminated against in all aspects of daily life, from employment to education to access to public accommodations, and even access to adequate medical care. This discrimination occurs despite evidence that 95 to 98 percent of diets fail over five years and that 65 million Americans are labeled "obese." Our thin-obsessed society firmly believes that fat people are at fault for their size and it is politically correct to stigmatize and ridicule them. Fat discrimination is one of the last publicly accepted discriminatory practices. Fat people have rights and they need to be upheld!
That little gem is from the website. How fucking asinine is that? Rhetorical question, but I'll tell you: it's like making a sequel to Baby Geniuses. So fucking stupid you cannot even contemplate it, yet it exists. Let's dissect this statement and ignore the rest of the website, mostly because I got so pissed reading the first couple pages I couldn't finish.
Fat people are discriminated against
Yep. Get the fuck over it. Everyone is discriminated against in some capacity, learn to deal with that fact and stop whining like a stupid fuck. The real problem here is that the discrimination is implied to be unwarranted. How so? Shouldn't insurance companies be discriminatory toward individuals who are higher risk? How the hell can these idiots possibly convince me that, in light of the countless medical studies, being obese isn't a medical problem? What the fuck ever. If I was selling doughnuts, you can bet your ass I'd discriminate against skinny people and target the fatties as customers. It's just good business. As an aside, I remember an anecdote about a woman being charged for two seats on an airplane because she literally took up two seats. She said that was discrimination as she was fat. Well, sorry, airlines make money per asses in seats, and if your fucking ass takes up two seats, then you need to pay double.
95 to 98 percent of diets fail over five years
"Diets". Alright, that's compelling. The people who go on "diets" are the same people who are fat. Diets take self control and fatties obviously have none in the first place. What makes them think they can stick to a diet? A lot of these diets are unrealistic, sure, but some of the more ridiculous ones consist of eating 500 calories a day under maintenance and avoiding sugar. Wow, that's so horrid!
65 million Americans are labeled "obese."
This number is alarming, first of all, but I'm wondering what their point is. Are 65 million Americans simply mislabeled as being obese? No, see, they actually are fat as fuck. Just because a lot of people are fucking fat and unhealthy doesn't mean it's good. This is called appeal to common practice, and is a stupid fucking fallacy idiots use when they don't understand logic. Apparently fatties have no capability to use logic and instead must justify their fatness in whatever method they can.
Our thin-obsessed society
Seriously, who the fuck likes fat women? I'm sure there are a few dudes who are into fat chicks, and there are also dudes into donkey fucking and burning themselves with candle wax to get off. I was in Europe not long ago, and guess what? There aren't any fat people over there. Are Eurotards "thin-obsessed"? No, they are simply normal. Being fat as hell isn't normal, get the fuck over it.
fat people are at fault for their size
Wait, when did we have state-mandated eating? Are you required to eat, fatty? Last time I checked, if caloric intake was higher than caloric usage, you got fat. So, basically, math is biased against fatties. I suppose this can be lumped in with discrimination, but in this case it's the laws of physics instead of an individual doing it.
politically correct to stigmatize and ridicule them
I'm never one to promote political correctness, but if this was the case, then yeah, sounds great to me. In fact, it's exactly the opposite and fatties are now fucking revered as demigods. 100% true, watch any talkshow or Oprah or whatever.
Fat discrimination is one of the last publicly accepted discriminatory practices.
Oh, except, you know, against everyone...for anything. Are these fucking people living in the same world I am?
Fat people have rights and they need to be upheld!
Okay, so I have been holding back, but now the venom shall spew. What FUCKING RIGHTS are being fucking violated? Name one fucking right. The right not to have people be disgusted by your fat fucking ass? The right to eat as much as you want and balloon to epic proportions and then bitch about not being able to find your size in a bikini? The right to low insurance rates even though you're 5 times more likely to suffer from a heart attack? The right to literally consume more resources than is reasonable for two people, combined? How the fuck is fattyism justified in this day and age of economic recession and consumer awareness, i.e. trying to be "green"? How the fuck are fatties helping the environment by using more food, water and electricity than anyone else? Fuck you, fucking fat fucks. Seriously, fuck you. You do not have "thyroid" conditions. Thyroid problems don't have any fucking thing to do with doughnut consumption. Start taking responsibility for being social rejects because of your own personal issues. If you don't want to be bullied or discriminated against, why not DO something about it like stop eating and perhaps work out? Just like all fatty excuses, I already know what this one will be, and it will be predicated upon the idea that other people should accommodate some stupid fuck simply because they have no self-control or self-worth.
In closing, fuck fatties and their fat ideas.